Grace in Weakness
This is my little family today. I’m so blessed to have each of these souls in my life. But the one right next to me is the one who made the commitment to join me and create this life together 22 years ago. As we marked our 20-year wedding anniversary this year, we were growing into the couple that we both longed to be for most of our life together but could never quite get there. We have joined together to share this blog with all of you.
What’s our secret, you ask? We’ll share with you how we got here. Because it wasn’t easy, and marriage rarely is.
We often hear compatibility described as the be-all and end-all of a successful marriage. But what if your marriage could testify to God’s power and not just your compatibility as a couple?
In 2 Corinthians 12:7-10, Paul speaks of being tormented by a “thorn” in his flesh.Three times, Paul pleads with God to remove this thorn. Three times God replies, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”
“What if, instead of telling everyone how good we have it at home, we honestly testified that it is God’s grace alone that keeps us together? Is there a ‘thorn’ in your relationship that you have pleaded with God to take away? Is there something you wish He would heal but hasn’t? What if that’s exactly where God wants you to glorify Him? It is in our weakness–as individuals and perhaps as couples–that Christ’s power comes to rest on us. Can you understand the Father may not remove some difficulties you hate because He wants you to rely on the supernatural power of Christ whom He loves? I believe it will change our relationships and our walks with God if we stop expecting every problem to be “fixed” and instead expect every difficulty to help us learn Paul’s secret strength in weakness and dependence on God.” (Gary Thomas- A Lifelong Love)
This really spoke to us personally, as our marriage has been one of real challenges and struggles. We had “thorns” throughout the course of our marriage. They all stemmed from an ego centered, selfish way of life that we had become accustomed to living and tolerating. Besides the normal everyday challenges, when you throw in self sabotaging decisions, it can feel like your life is falling apart before your very eyes.
The unfortunate part was we continued to blame each other for those “thorns” repeatedly. Failing to notice that it was God who was trying to get our attention so that we could realize the full beauty of our life individually and together as husband and wife.
I, personally, have always been vigilant in my approach to all my relationships, realizing that couples don’t get to milestone anniversaries without hard work. But in my marriage, I was often wondering during the darkest times when do we quit? When is it enough? In those moments when I felt most out of control, I often cried out to God to help me see what I needed to see… to give me strength… to help my husband see what he needed to see…to give him strength.
We now know that although we had invited God to our wedding, we had failed to invite him to our marriage.
I’m an open book, never really hiding the challenges of my marriage from anyone in my close circle because I feel strongly that everyone can learn from each other and besides, who are you kidding with your “perfect” marriage? That’s not to say that you can’t have a great marriage, but are you open with how hard you work to keep that marriage moving forward? I have always felt an obligation to be real with people so that no one feels alone in their struggles in life, whether that be marriage, raising kids, or even running a business.
We are here to tell you it is by God’s grace that we are still together, and it wasn’t until we truly invited God to join us on our journey that our lives quickly turned around. Today we lean on him in our times of struggle. We trust in him as he leads us down the path that he has chosen, and we have faith that he has a bigger plan for our lives than we can even dream of. We are honored every day to speak about God’s power and our surrender to such. We pray that our children have watched as we have traveled this journey together and recognize the part that God will play in their lives. We pray that if you are reading this and you have struggled through your life and or your relationships; you know you are not alone and that the hard work, if done with God’s grace, can be some of the most rewarding work you do in life.
It has been in our weakness that we have truly realized the power of God in our life. You can have the same. All you must do is invite him.