The Pen Pal Who Found Me in the Dash

The Pen Pal Who Found Me in the Dash…

All my life, people have told me I’m too loving, too forgiving—as if those could somehow be flaws. But aren’t those the very things we should all be striving toward? My father, who passed away last year, often reminded me of an old saying: “You have the date of your birth and the date of your death, but what matters most is the dash in between—how you lived it, and how you left others.”

That dash has always been important to me. I’ve tried—though not always perfectly—to leave people better than I found them. Sometimes I succeed, sometimes I don’t. Sometimes I leave behind joy, other times I leave behind hard lessons. But I believe both are part of God’s plan: the good, the bad, the ugly, and the beautiful. All of it shapes us into who He needs us to be.

A year ago, my life shifted again. In September, I lost my father unexpectedly, not long after my divorce and the difficult process of rebuilding the life I thought I knew. It was another sharp reminder of how little control we really have, and how uncertain the future can be. Yet even in the sadness and loneliness, I remained grateful—for my children, my family and friends, and for the chance to keep moving forward with faith.

It was around this time last year, in the middle of my grief, that someone appeared in my life. Fate, coincidence, or God’s timing—I’ll never know for sure. But it became a friendship that lit up my days in unexpected ways—a pen-palship, really—playful, sarcastic, sweet, simple, and sometimes even foolish. We shared career highs, family stories, highs and lows of life, and moments of both vulnerability and joy. We had fun and laughed a lot over the past year. It was a friendship, and it was special.

It may not have been a grand romance, but it was one of the most beautiful seasons of my life. It reminded me that love and connection don’t have to follow a script to be meaningful. God sometimes sends people to us not forever, but for now—to remind us of joy, to teach us something, or to make us feel a little less alone. It did not come without lessons, and I believe that was God’s plan- to teach us about family, friendship, and life.

I know not everyone shares my goal of leaving people better than they found them. Sometimes the lessons I’ve had to learn have been painfully close to my heart. But I also know the pain serves a greater purpose, shaping me and those around me into the people we are meant to become.

As for my pen pal, he will always hold a special place in my heart. Whatever the future holds, I’ll carry the memories with gratitude—for the laughter, the lessons, and the reminder that even in seasons of loss, love and kindness find a way to show up.

So I pray that my dash continues to reflect God’s love—through kindness, through forgiveness, and even through the lessons of loss. May I leave behind a little more light than I found. I also pray that in some small way, those who mean the most to me in my life can see the same about theirs.

And if you’re ever struggling or need someone to listen, remember: there’s always a seat at my table. There you’ll find an espresso martini, a few tears, probably some sarcasm, laughter, and lots of Jesus. With faith and friendship, we’ll figure it out together.

Please don’t hesitate to reach out if you need anything. Until then, I’ll see you next month with hopefully some fantastic stories to tell about life.

Much love and blessings,

Kim