From His Lies to Their Blessings

From His Lies to Their Blessings

It was August 2019, and I had just discovered that my husband had been having yet another affair. This was what I believed to be his last affair; however, as life would unfold, it was only the tip of the iceberg of what was to come. I was in the midst of running and preparing to sell my business of 13 years, chairing my sons’ high school gala, raising kids, wondering if I was going to make it, and I needed to find a new therapist. Along with my deep faith, therapy and a life coach have been integral parts of my life for many years, especially during pivotal moments in both my professional and personal life. I had not been to therapy in quite a while, as my life on the surface was running pretty smoothly. But on that day, I was sitting at the front desk of my studio, and one of my instructors was waiting around after her class when I asked her what was going on. She told me she was waiting to go to therapy since it was close to the studio. I immediately said, “Give me her number. I need a therapist today.” At this very moment, God was taking the bad and turning it into good, and just as God is good, it would be impossible to describe what he was about to do because good would not be a sufficient word to use that would properly describe the life-changing events that were about to happen. 

Meet Hope, my therapist. I would walk into her office feeling lost, wondering why I was back in therapy again because of someone else’s actions. She was terrific and supported me in many ways. Over the next few months, she helped my husband and I decide to keep working on our relationship and give this marriage one last chance. It was the greatest gift we could give our kids as they were nearing their final year of high school. If only I had known that on my husband’s side, it was all a lie. But again, God was working everything for his good, and I would begin to see that unfold even if I had no idea what was about to happen to us all. It seemed that God’s immediate work was all that was meant to be, but years later, we would still see the fruits of his labor against the evil that tried to tear my life apart. 

Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.

One day, I was in therapy alone because my husband, who was often out of town, was unavailable for that particular appointment, and Hope needed to reschedule ours. She apologized and explained it was a medical appointment she couldn’t change due to its nature. As a nurse, I naturally asked for more details in case there was anything I could do to help, and Hope shared that she was undergoing fertility treatments and had been trying to have a baby for quite some time without success. Since I had also gone through fertility treatments, that sparked more conversation about who she was seeing and what had been done. Without going into too much detail, Hope revealed that this would be their last attempt because they could no longer afford it. If this round failed, they were considering adoption but didn’t know where to start. At that moment, I did what I love to do: connect people. I have a long-standing Pilates client and close friend who is an adoption attorney. She handles private adoptions and has been a client and friend of mine for about 20 years. I asked Hope if she’d like me to pass on her number, even just to gather more information about what they might face with adoption. I knew my friend would be happy to help. Hope agreed. 

The next morning, I saw my friend in my studio and told her the story about Hope. She immediately said, “I have a baby!” I asked, ‘What do you mean, you have a baby?’ She replied, “I have a baby. I have a baby right now!” I couldn’t believe it, but in the following weeks, Hope and her lovely family would be on their way to pick up their baby boy. Our therapy sessions would happily be put on hold for about a month. What a reunion it would be in that first session. During this time off, I had a revelation: if my husband hadn’t had that affair and if my instructor hadn’t stayed behind at the studio that day before her appointment, then my life wouldn’t have crossed paths with Hope. This was the meticulous plan God placed before me for Hope — I’m sure of it. I’ve been blessed with moments like this in my life. They give me peace during times of pain, suffering, or just the discomfort life brings. I pray that everyone can always find the reasons behind suffering that are beautiful and magical. 

That first session with Hope after she became a mom was one I will never forget. I told her, “If I had to go through all the pain of this affair for you to have a baby, then it was worth every tear I shed.” And she replied, “You know I’ve never been a big believer in God, but I do now.” It was a beautiful moment. 

Romans 8:28 And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.

As we jump ahead two years to 2022, my marriage is finally ending. I go back to Hope’s office to help me handle the devastation unfolding in my life. Her son is about to turn two, and he symbolizes so much to both Hope and me. For Hope, blessings, and for me, a reminder of what I have endured in this marriage that is now coming to an end. She was ready for another child, and of course, another baby girl was waiting for her and her loving family. You can see the beautiful photos of these blessings along with her husband and mom. God never stops taking it all and working it for his greater good and purposes. You never know why until you do, and you only understand if you open your heart and your faith to see it. 

I pray that you will all open your hearts, become more faith-filled, and trust that the pain will bring something more beautiful into your life than just suffering, for there is always something good coming from it all. And if you’re ever struggling or need someone to listen, remember: there’s always a seat at my table. There you’ll find an espresso martini, a few tears, probably some sarcasm, laughter, and lots of Jesus. With faith and friendship, we’ll figure it out together.

Much Love and Blessings

Kim