Number Two

Continuing with April and the month of two for our family, we are celebrating the twins’ twenty-first birthdays this month, but to give each of them their moment, I am writing my second blog about number two. Having kept the twins tightly bonded over the past twenty-one years, I thought that for this special birthday, they would get their spotlight on who they are and who they have become. More importantly, I want to share who they are and how they each changed my life. The trials and lessons of raising twins are not something that I ever worried about or hesitated to think I could handle. I believe I’ve always been the type of girl who dives in and figures things out later. I know I could not have done a fraction of what I look back on without God’s grace. He was the rock I stood on at every turn from the moment of conception till now. It was always my firm intention to pass on the gift of God to all of my children so they would always know He was there for them. Seeing all three of my boys stand firm in their faith despite their tough times has been a blessing that, as a mother, you pray about. 

And I pray that sharing your faith may become effective for the full knowledge of every good thing in us for the sake of Christ. Philemon 1:6

As a woman, I made the late-life decision to have more children because I was so in love with the boy’s father that I wanted to share in this beautiful thing called life with him. Although having a stepson meant the world to him, I knew that deep down, having his biological children was something that he had dreamed about. After going through a few procedures, we discovered we were not only having a baby, but having two. I remember that moment like it was yesterday. It’s what I call a pivotal moment in life. You either pivot, or you fall on your face. If you read my blog or know me personally, I’m sure you can guess that I embraced it with everything I had inside me. And it changed me forever. I did not know that this pregnancy, a gift from God, would present challenges that would test my faith, my marriage, motherhood, and life, and that was before they even arrived. God did not fail me, and even though I faced immense challenges, I now know that He used those tests to strengthen me and shape me into the woman He desires me to be. That strength would be the foundation I needed to raise my boys and be the best mother I could be. Maxwell would be one of those blessings I watched up close, and I have loved being able to do so every moment. 

And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. 1 Peter 5:10

In his short twenty-one years, Maxwell has taken on some challenging things, from leaving traditional sports and leaning into cheerleading to getting out of his comfort zone and doing door-to-door sales. I have watched from the sidelines, guiding him when he needed me and learning from him. He taught me it’s okay to have boundaries and to stand your ground in what you know to be correct. In our family, leaving traditional sports was no easy feat for our boys. Sports were their dad’s life and what he leaned on growing up. So, for them to suddenly leave traditional sports, whether to pursue cheer or take time to enjoy their high school years, was a big decision that coaches and their father challenged at every turn. It was so hard watching them wrestle between wanting to please everyone and wanting to be happy doing what they wanted to do. Maxwell handled this with confidence and grace despite his uncertainty behind the scenes, and I still look back with such pride. He taught me that if you believe in something, no matter how scared you are to fail, you must take the leap of faith and trust yourself to land where you are meant to be. He accomplished all he set out to achieve, and what a ride it was to be alongside him as he did. These were the very moments that would mold him into the man he is becoming today. It was God’s work right before my very eyes. 

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened and dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:9

Maxwell Christian, when we found out we were having twins, your father and I decided we would each pick a name for you and your brother. Once I decided on my name, I knew the entire time you were in my belly that you were the twin we would call Maxwell. I picked out that name, hoping with a firm name would come strong convictions and, boy, I was right. From the beginning, you were letting me know you were there, and early on, you positioned yourself in such a way as to say, I’m coming out first. Truthfully, now that I think about it, it may be the only time in your life that you didn’t make Jordan go first. From your debut, you were strong-willed and demanding, but always with such joy in your demeanor. Smiling and just loving life at every turn. I will never forget when I was in your room changing your diaper, and I suddenly discovered a spot on your neck when I was kissing you that would yield the most amazing deep belly laughs I think I have ever heard in my life. You laughed so hard that you scared yourself. It was such a precious moment. Although you have become more serious in your adult years, even to the point of us lovingly calling you “Grumpy Cat,” Whenever I am blessed to hear you laugh, it takes me back to that moment. Please never stop laughing. Your father and I certainly laughed a lot. Even when things weren’t perfect, we could find the humor in life. I pray you will take on that trait from both of us. Because, my sweet, sweet boy, you should share your contagious laugh with the world. I could not be more proud of you. Professionally, you are killing it and sharing your gifts with so many around you, just as God intended you to do. On a personal note, you seemed to have found your person, and I could not love your relationship with her any more than I do. What I love most are the convictions and morals you hold tightly regarding relationships and your continued commitment to someone you cherish. Never lose that. 

A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. Proverbs 17:22

To my readers, April has been a month of celebrations, reminding me of the beautiful blessings God has graced my life with. I hope you can also acknowledge the beauty of the gifts from God, regardless of the individuals who have graced your life – whether they are children, friends, family, or strangers. As always, if you are ever in need or struggling to make sense out of your life, please know that there is always a seat at my dining room table, where you will find an espresso martini (on the rocks, wink), a few tears, maybe some sarcasm and lots of Jesus. Together with faith and prayer, we can figure it all out. Please reach out if the need arises. Until then, see you next month, and thank you for indulging my two blog posts this month. 

Much Love and Blessings,

Kim